Ah, Memories
by Absolut Asian
Summary: [One-Shot] Before Cloud leaves the villa memories wash up to his mind about a certain girl. But memories should be forgotten, right?


**Ah, Memories**

I feel like this is going to be one of the last times I'm going to sleep in this villa. I take a quick glance at the couch, (Remember what we did there?) and the kitchen table, (We broke every single flower vase Tifa bought) not to forget the stairway. (I know you haven't forgotten the time we were kissing and fell down there) The bedroom door is closed, thank Midgar. The sheets are clean, the blankets neatly lying on top, smelling of raw sex. I tried to hide that so many times, continually washing them, but the scent won't seem to wash off. Don't think I'm saying I regret what we did.

I better hurry up. I might just catch some random thief trying to steal my bike again, and I'll have to teach them a lesson. I'm too exhausted to deal with that. But...wait. Maybe I should sit on the couch right now and just let my thoughts boil over. They're all about you, of course.

I remember when Red XIII, Barret and I first met you. We were getting into random fights with monsters in the forest, and then...you appeared. Your face was flushed with excitement, thinking you were going to be able to kick all our asses and steal our Materia. But instead, we kicked _your _ass and befriended you. A little while later, you and I went on a date.

Ooooh...soon after we began to travel in the Highwind, you started to show your TRUE attraction towards me. You flirted with me, rubbed my back (I enjoyed that), and kissed me on the neck many times. Then you came into my room that night...do you remember what happened? Yes, you were quite drunk.

"What the hell happened to you?" You seemed to quiver with each step you took.

You said nothing, but just collapsed onto my bed, your eyes fluttering shut. The Conformer dropped from your hands to the ground, grazing my arm along the way. I didn't care though. I was just worried that you would turn out ok, and would be able to fight the next day. You snored peacefully on the bed for two hours, occasionally smiling.

You woke, startled. "Cloud?" You've never told me it, but I'm pretty sure you thought I fucked you without you knowing it. I'm not that kind of man, which you later found out. I wanted to show I cared, so I took you in my arms. You wriggled out of my arms and slapped me across the face.

"Don't touch me."

"Why did you _drink_? You're only sixteen."

"That's exactly why, moron."

"What're you talking about?"

"I'm only sixteen. I'm too young..."

"What, you wanted to prove you were a badass? Drinking doesn't make you one, you know."

"NO! Stop with your bullshit! I was so depressed because I felt like you would never want me and I ended up getting fucked up and wasted!"

Wow. I still remember the shock of your rushed words. That's all I remember clearly though, (That and your tear filled eyes) and then...the rest is a blur. Your arched forward and kissed me, mashing your lips against mine. We fell to the bed then, limbs and mouths together.

The rest of our journey was hard after that, no? We had to always keep quiet during making love-no scratch that, sex. You were one hell of a wild animal. But anyways, we always had to be quiet because the others guys slept in the room next to us, and one loud moan would give us away entirely. But that just fed our hunger.

Damn. I regret near the end. I ignored you, or tried to. I can't lie and say my feelings for Tifa didn't change near the end, and I tried to push you away; when you wanted a kiss, I would kiss you on the cheek, or when you wanted me to thrust myself inside of you, I would stop the sex right there. I know that was cruel. But I was confused as hell about my feelings. That's why I broke up with you, even though you knew (And hopefully know) that I would always love you.

I've decided I'm going to write you a letter. You're probably in Wutai right now, smirking at all the Materia you stole. I'll just drop it off to Gado.

My hands are shaking. By now, a thief could've stolen the bike. So I've gotta hurry up. Why, oh why, is it that when I try to show my feelings, I end up backing out? Not this time though. I'm going to write and send a letter to you. Love isn't going to count me out again. I'm not going to lose another love.

_Hi._

_I've been sitting here in the villa, thinking back to all those times we spent together. But memories are just happiness of the past, right? I know I can't live in those forever. And after what I did to you, I doubt you want to hold onto them. But please let me tell you: I want you to be happy. I want to love you...no, I want you to be loved by someone who deserves you. I know I don't. _

_I never told you those three words. I feel like I'm repeating myself, but please know I love you. One day I'll give you back the reward you deserve for putting up with me._

_Until then: Cloud._

I fold the letter up and put it safely in my pocket. Now it's time for me to leave. My mind has wandered enough.

Before I close the door though, I leave those memories behind.

Ah, memories. They're happiness in a way we need to forget.


End file.
